Where The Light Is

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fences

this is the deep and dying breath

give my gun away when it's loaded

the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you

because this road is all you'll ever have

plugin&play If you read, you will judge. the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return
My Dear we're slow dancing in a burning room	Sunday, March 30, 2008, 9:08 PM I cant wait to see you again Tsk, i had such a long day. And ive been so busy and annoyed, that for once, i dont mind just sitting down and staring at the wall cos i think ive forgotten the feeling of boredom. The alarm clock fell on my head when it started ringing again ( i really have to fix it) so i woke up at 8, then headed down to school to sell tix to the BRMC people. I swear, i have never felt more dejected, rejected and demoralised. Everyone we approached just shunned us away and said they were busy or told us that their husbands or wives would have already bought the tickets. We only managed to sell 4 tickets, and all 4 were to our parents. We did however get a kind donation from this old old, very old man who felt pity for us. Well wow, it took a 100 year old man to feel sympathy for us huh. He mustve seen us and been reminded of the prisoners of war in the japanese occupation. heck, seeing how old he is, i wont be surprised if he was there to witness the civil war back in 1861. We stood around from 9-12 trying to get people to buy tickets. Its worse than flag day. And now my back is hurting like mad, i have to lean to my left so it wont hurt, so now i look like i have a broken back. Gah. Then after that, i rushed home for tuition with feli, and halfway through, at about 230, guess who shows up. The mighty Darth vader walked into my room and i swear i felt the pressense of the room chill down to a horror movie atmosphere. And he came at 230. He's supposed to come at 4. Tsk, thats 1 and a half hours early. Talk about eager. So bla bla bla, tuition torture. But i finally caught up with all my work. here comes another hell week in school and having to bear seeing the faces of all those little dickweeds and retards who raise my blood pressure. So you know what, im thinking why not write a song in ode to all those idiots, sang in the tune of an irish drinking song. Oh joy, more irish stuff. I live in a world of retards, idiots and spastics, i really think that all their brains are made from plastic, you scumbag you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot, you give me headaches and you make me cry, you're so ugly that you hurt both my eyes, you smell like an old dirty fungus sock, i thank the good Lord whenever i have a nose block, Your IQ is a real question to me, how can a number go so deep into negativity? Retards big, and retards small, i wish i could shoot every single one of them all, retards straight, and retards gay, why do i have to see your face every single day? you're so annoying i cant even measure, youre so annoying, you raise my blood pressure, yes this song is horrible, at least i gave it a try, but for now, its time for me to say goodbye. Im actually feeling better now. Ah, the performance draws ever so near, we need to sell tickets, so please, buy them. Somehow, i have a bad feeling about it. Ah anyway, im officially now a nerdfighter. Sigh, school. Nooo. Im gonna go enjoy the last dying moments of my weekend. Goodbye. Ao Saturday, March 29, 2008, 7:08 PM Break it down baby do your thing This is the part where the rap breaks down. Heaven. What a day. Im having a major neck ache now. Tsk why is it that every part of my body takes turns in aching every alternate day. Sheila's down with a high fever so she cancelled today's rehearsals, but we decided to continue with it anyway cos we're such hard workers. pfft. met kenny and Gou for breakfast at far east in the morning, we crossed over to macs to eat, and a strange lady at the counter was trying to offer me an unkown food. Strange lady: HI can i help? Me: Urm yea can i get a hot cakes with sausage? Strange lady: You want saw seg ah? With saw seg? Me: Urm what? Strange lady: saw seg, hot cake with saw seg ah? me: naw i want a hot cakes with sausage. Strange lady: ah ah saw seg. Saw seg. Tsk. I have no idea what on this damned earth is a bloody saw seg. And no thank you, id rather stick with my normal sausage then consume your version of it now newly named saw seg. it took me a while to realise that her saw seg was a sausage. Anyway, then we headed down to school, and its the worse time to be in school, on a weekend. No one was in the staff room, so we couldnt get the keys to any room to use for rehearsals, but thankfully, some idiot forgot to lock the LC door, so we were able to use that. But we still needed the radio and cd from the staff room. So me kenny and gou went trekking all over the school looking for some help. We did this for an hour, going every last possible part of the school and found no one. And do you know hot warm it is outside? Singapapore's like a damn oven. I swear when i grow up and become legal, i'll move to alaska. Where everything is frozen. Dammit. So after all that, we saw a teacher walking into the school compound, we must have given him a right shock, cos we started running towards him. But we found a radio in his staffroom and borrowed it. BUT, just when we do that and walk all the way back up to the 5th level, Ms vani opens up the staffroom which contained all the things we needed. So we took it. So after all that, we were left with 2 radios. Tsk. Wasted effort and sweat. Then lada lada, rehearsal, dance dance, sing sing, shout shout, tired. Then left for home. Ah what a boring day. Oh yesterday, we recorded our songs in the concert hall, our producer came in with all that cool equipment and turned the whole place into a mini portable studio. And i swear, he looks exactly like Simon cowell. Incredible. I used my sneaky camera skills to snap that pic. After recording, me kenny and ra-el had to stay back to sell tickets to the acs oba. I swear, the oba dudes are annoying little dickweeds. We waited for them to finish their meeting in the blistering heat, 2 hours we waited, and they bought nothing. Every single oba member we tried selling to just walked away. Idiots. The only time when we thought someone was gonna buy something was when this guy came to our table and looked interested. Turns out, he thought our booth was the attendance booth for the oba meeting. Gah. Then, after all that, kenny went to wash his face, with face wash, in the canteen sink. Thats great kenny, wash your face in the canteen sink. And urm, i couldnt resist snapping a pic when he was vulnerable. Oh yes kenny, another wonderful dashing picture to attract all them ladies. Yea, ladies at the retirement home. Pfft. Well, im real tired and bored. So, im off to do nothing. Whoopee. Ao Thursday, March 27, 2008, 12:34 PM Let me hold you Oh im having just the most perfect day ever, i think its like, the best day of my life. So i woke up today with a really wonderful splitting throbbing headache, the moment i got up, i felt so dizzy i fell down and hit my head on the table, which only added to the splitting headache, then i threw myself back on my bed, but my back fell on the edge of my bed and it hurts like hell now, but i was so tired, i dropped onto the floor and fell asleep. Until my alarm clock rang and dropped off the edge of my table and hit me on my head, again adding to my already splitting headache. So now, im left with a splitting headache, an aching back, and, to top off this impossibly perfect morning, i have been diagnosed with fatigue and a flu. yes, i went to the docs cos i felt so awful, and doc said i have fatigue. Told me to get some rest cos ive been stressing out too much. pfft. Well, i cant complain, so im not in school today. Oh this wonderful much needed God given day of rest. Sigh. Ok, so yesterday, Darren chiam (second drama teacher in charge)revealed very annoying news to me. During history lesson, he announced to the whole class that he is asking for volunteers to be backstage crew for our musical, he offered them 50 cip hours, 5 cip points, and other attractive points, even a position in the drama club. Ok, every single idiot in my class who i didnt want to be backstage has volunteered themselves to be backstage. ok, so not all of them are idiots, only 1 or 2. BUT, guess who volunteered himself. Ok now, of all the screwed up spastic little dickweeds who couldve volunteered, our resident alien entity Joel Chee volunteered himself. AHHHH WHAT THE SFFRKHS. yes, i am so pissed off, there is no word yet invented to describe my anger, shock, horror, and fear, so i shall use a mixed jumble of random letters. Like this. SKJHW. Sigh. I dont question mr Darren chiam's mental capabilities( or incapabilities) But, why oh why the hell did he choose joel chee?!?!?!? I cannot imagine Joel cheebeing my backstage personal handling my props and being the cleanup crew. Look at his hygiene! He cant even clean himself, and mr chiam expects him to clean up the stage???? its i mean, its, ah, its joel chee dammit. Even after a day after this piece of news has been revealed to me, i am still in shock. Ive been having this splitting headache ever since yesterday when i found out. And sheila isnt happy bout this either, no one is. its joel chee man. The only living being on this damned earth who is able to cause suicide in a perfectly non suicidal person. Someone, Please, Shoot me. What a wonderful day im having right? And to top it off, im having tuition with darth vader tonight. Tsk. Sigh, Joel chee. :( Ok im gonna go sleep now, maybe i'll wake up and this will all just be one really really sick sick nightmare. Ao Tuesday, March 25, 2008, 9:31 PM Even if it leads no way Ah today, today today today. Alot of finalisation today, our posters are now officially distributed, our brochures have been given out, all our songs have been finalised and we're gonna record the sound track this friday. Woohoo cant wait. Oh and, letters were given to the whole school to announce the musical, splendid. Publicity. And this is what the brochure and the letters say. In 2008, Drama @ACS visits OLd Jerusalem. Walk with Metrobius, the only son of a bandit king who finds himself lost, hopeless and desolate after his father is murdered in the desert by soldiers in a clean-up operation. Live the lives of slaves and gladiators as Metrobius is sold into slavery and later groomed as a gladiator. Feel and love with Metrobius as he comes to terms with the love of God. Wonder at the miracle of God's grace as a few good men find faith and freedom in the face of death under a regime of tyranny and terror. Notice how my character's name (Metrobius)is mentioned every sentence. So i guess its only right that i advertise to all you people out there, but if i tried to advertise, you'd know im advertising and you wont be convinced. Ah heck it. Please come see our musical which we've been working so hard on. The dates are as such, it is on the 11th and 12th of April (friday and saturday) tickets for friday are going at $20 and $50. Tickets for saturday are going at $50 and $80. So please, come check it out, its really awesome. Oh and check out our super awesome poster. I swear, its really cool. And our set designer came in to show us the set she made. But first, since we were on the topic of interesting names, guess what this one's name is. Its Hella. Pfft. Wow. Hella. Who names their child Hella??? i mean, Moo chee and Pin pur are odd, but, Hella?? Sounds like an African Delicacy. Whats her brother's name? Della? Mella? Fella? Bob? I dunno, wow, its so, wow. Thats, cool, but peculiarly cool. And she looks like a frog. But its ok, shes a very nice frog. And an awesome set designer. Ladies and gentlemen, i present to you, our stage. ( presented in concept via makeshift cardboard pieces in miniature size) Ahh, what a way to go out with a bang huh, after this musical, i step down forever! I'll miss these guys. After all the sec fours stand down, its only gonna be Kenny left in charge of them all (cos hes the most responsible and mature one, and hes only sec 3.) But kenny's all stressed out, pfft we all are. But he came in to the cafe after rehearsals with that dead look that we all have. But his dead looks is just so funny. I couldnt resist but take a picture. Oh yes, kenny with that look, you'll have all the girls going crazy over you. Go kenny. (: Well, im kinda brain dead now cos i got so much stuff to do. I'll seeyuh when i seeyuh. Ao Monday, March 24, 2008, 9:32 PM It had to be you Hotmail is lagging like crap on me, its been like that for so long, it takes me like, 10 mins to load a page, and 10 mins to open the mail and read it., and 10 more mins to go back to the inbox. Pfft, thats 30 damn mins to check 1 email. Thanks alot hotmail, make my life more convenient why dontcha. Anyway, yesterday i had lunch with a french uncle of mine, who is my dad's cousin. Tsk, where do all these people just come from? Suddenly i have a french uncle whom ive never heard of before, what next? You gonna tell me i have a ukranian sister named Iqbal? We ate at some restaurant in Dad's golf club. Yummy food as always. Then dad ordered something from the irish bar they had, (whoopee, more irish stuff. ) and he offered me some. Dad: This son, is the best in the world. Guiness stout, wanna try some? Me: You're not supposed to be giving me this huh? Dad: Bah your mom's not around, hurry take some. (he pours some into another glass) Me: Its, it tastes like crap, Dad. Dad: Ah but its good crap, You'll learn to like it. pfft how great, my father teaching me to drink. ahh my dad's the best.Coolest fella in the world. And i never noticed this, but on the wall where they state who all the head honchos are in the gold club, this dude has the saddest name ever. BAHAHAHAHA. Mr choy moo chee. Choy moo chee. HAHAHAHAHHA Choy's his last name, so moo chee's his first name. Thats either a sad joke, or a sad parental decision to name their son moo chee. That sad pathetic son of a mum. Who names their son moo chee?!?! Did his parents own like, a cow ranch or something? Where does one pull the words Moo and Chee out and form a name like Moo chee? Can you imagine him in school, or like, receiving an award? Now presenting first place in the dumb name fair, to mr Moo Chee. Spectacular. And there's a teacher in my school named mr Choy/chon/chong/choi (yes im not sure what this part of his name is) Pin Pur. Mr Pin Pur. Ok, urm, ouch. If i was him or our good friend moo chee, and i found out at the tender age of 3 or 4 that my name is Moo chee, or Pin pur, Dammit i'll shoot myself. And mr pin pur looks like something straight out of star trek dammit. He's no human, he's an entity. I'll get a picture of him someday. Sigh, these people, must live really really sad lives. One word Mr Moo chee, and mr pin pur, Sue. SUE. Pfft, well,headed back cos i had tuition with Vader, he brought me nerds. Bless. Theyre really yummy. The rest of the day was pretty much crap, trying to enjoy the last bits of my weekend. And then, today was pretty alright, until i woke up. Same old same old boring nonsence. Oh hell. 2 weeks till show date. Ahh. Some TV fellas are comin in this wednesday to film backstage stuff and interview us. And the posters got released today to all the schools. Ahhh. Pressure. Anyway, in the comp lab, look what i found. Hahaha. Sigh. This is what you get when you place computers in the viscinity of barker boys. Anyway, im gonna go work on a song that me and ra-el are writin. Seeyuh round. Ao Saturday, March 22, 2008, 8:18 PM Dinner at 8,that sounds fine, i spose it means you'll turn up round 9 Im trying to upload a couple of pics, but blogger and photobucket are being bitches and not letting me do that, i dunno its just not uploading, and it brings me to that really annoying about blank page. Pfft, what the hell does about blank mean anyway? Is it in reference to your brain and its contents? about BLANK? Dammit. Urgh, its stil not responding and being a real bitch, so no photos today i guess. I hope this aint permenant. Anyway, sometimes music videos can be pretty weird, ive seen pretty weird and creepy ones, this one's gotta be one of the weirdest. Its what else is there by royksopp ( thanks to Kat for posting it on her blog, and thanks to Jon for showing the video to Kat thus making her post it up) What in the hell is that? This is gonna give me nightmares. Royksopp, sounds like some swedish sauce brand for swedish meatballs and swedish jam and swedish bread and what not. The girl's floating man, floating. And somewhere in the middle, milk (or some white stuff) leaks from her legs. That shocking white hair and no eyebrows look is just so haunting somehow. Pfft. great, instead of making some really happy video, instead of making a normal video, our good friend Royksopp the swedish sauce band makes a video about a floating albino girl who leaks milk. Oh yes, i see it in the VMAs now. And her voice, is what you get when you choke a distressed frog. But dont get me wrong, the song isnt too bad, better than some other crap out there. Its not as this weird japanese video i came accross earlier on. So i was having a little snack,i was having a cheese bun, so there i was happily munching away at my cheese bun, then when i saw this video, and i swear to you, the deliciousness of that yummy little cheese bun vanished. I couldnt eat anymore. Nobody does weird like the Japanese. Sometimes it's deliberately weird - like those anime films that consists mainly of demons killing each other in bizarre ways. So what to make of when they try to teach strange aerobics? What the faja is that?!?!?! what, i mean, its, wha, huh?? So im quite confused. Is this video intended for patients at a rehab centre or patients at a down syndrome home?? Theyre chanting to this monotonous 1970s do-it-yourself home studio quality background music. Sure, keep chanting "spare me my life" and "take anything you want" and remember it by bouncing around and gesticulating odd arm movements while wearing an awful gym outfit. Im sure when you're in a real robbery, it will so help to recite verbal defence at the same time bouncing around and gesticulating odd arm movements while wearing an awful gym outfit. Pfft. Sure it'll work, it'll totally scare the robber off cos he'll think you're an escapee from a severely brain damaged care facility. You know, they should make another video for the robber. And make him do the exact same thing, except chant " I am scared" and " I wont hurt you". Then in the case of a real robbery, both robber and victim can stand around, chant monotonous phrases and bounce around and gesticulate odd arm movements while wearing awful gym outfits. Then we can all have a good laugh at how impossibly stupid this crime is looking. Well done Japan. well done. And are the girls supposed to be good looking? Pfft, well, Eureka, you've cured all masturbatory issues of men worldwide. No longer are men gonna have any sexual desires whatsoever after seeing this video. Oh ho ho congratulations. Tsk, oh and look, aftr 2 hours and 3 minutes, photobucket has finally uploaded 2 out of 5 pictures i wanted to upload. my cat jumped on my bed for a nap. Today, i wore all black. And i realised, everything i had was also black, so i thought, what the heck, snap a pic of the black. gyeh ok. This weekend's going by pretty slow. I should be studying. Sigh. Im gonna listen to my music, make myself a cup of coffee, sit on my bed, and scare myself silly by watching ghost movies. Why? Cos there is nothing else to do. Woohoo. Go me. Seeyuh. Ao Thursday, March 20, 2008, 9:46 PM So i turned my face away and dreamed a better dream. Ok suddenly, i have this obsession with irish music, its really good stuff. Like stuff from the pogues, the dubliners and flogging molly, sure they sound like really bad restaurant names, but theyre pretty good. Chinese mid year's today, its totally screwed up. Totally screwed up. for the MCQs, i put all the answers as 1. Like, everything, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1. I figured i'll get bout 3-4 marks from doing that which is really much smarter cos if i did it with my skill of the chinese language, id get 1-2. And for the comprehension, i didnt understand a crap thing that was being mentioned on the paper, dammit man, CLB here i come. Then after that, rehearsals, polishing of all the scenes, performance day just grows nearer and nearer. Its kinda scary you know. But anyway, after drama, had dinner at the cafe, they were booked full house today after 6 cos some huge ass party had reserved the whole place. So there we were eating our food, suddenly this 5-foot tight t shirt wearing thai dude with a thai flag with a red hat bursts into the cafe with an entire party of thai people with identical clothing. it was the largest gathering of thai people i had ever seen. And they were all wearing some yellow polo t shirt, tsk, did the king of thailand impregnate someone or something? Or is it Thai day, mm if it is, Happy thai day, And on that note, happy st patty's. Woohoo, Go Ireland. So the cafe was really busy, and the food quality went down again, cos they were too busy concentrating on the Thai people. Remember the demented green curry doug ate last week? It looked like this. Doug ordered the same thing today, and well, presenting, the Demon curry when the cafe is too busy to prepare it well. How appetizing. Yum yum. Pfft. So after awhile, things got boring, you know us, when we get bored, we do things. So doug, already with the really odd taste in food, comes along with another substance which he calls food. He buys a pack of potato chips, and pours the demon curry into the packet of chips. Great, demon chip curry. No surprise there when he told us it was oh so good. Wonderful douglas, Wonderful. Look at him, happily scooping up all that demon chip curry. Well done douglas, you're on your way to becoming a master chef (of dog food) one day. So our boredom grew, and you know what, we decided lets go to the bleachers above the swimming pool cos we've never been there before, and i gotta say, the breeze is pretty nice there. We couldve just sat on those bleachers, sang a couple songs about ishaan, talked and laughed about life's patheticness, but no, indianna douglas had to go exploring, with his trusty hound dog ishaan. They saw an open door and decided to go through it. But this door was 10 feet above the ground, on the roof of the cafe. Ladies and gentlemen, this is called, Idiot. Oh yes, climb that thing why dontcha. Douglas douglas, when you laugh, i laugh, when you cry, i cry, when you climb up to rooftops and fall off, i laugh harder. (: Well he didnt fall off. Tsk. We headed home soon after cos things get too boring you know. Back home again and ah tomorow, this much needed God given day of rest. So much violence in this world, so so much violence, why cant the world just stop fighting, and make peace, laugh and have fun instead of killing. Life's too short to not laugh. Ah. Someone, fix this broken land. I feel a song coming along, so im gonna go write one now. Go me. Seeyuh. Ao Wednesday, March 19, 2008, 10:06 PM The way i rock Oh crazy, today is so so so crazy. Prolly the craziest day ever. Where should i start, ok well, school was so boring, and somehow it just felt so depressing. Then came rehearsels, jeez today's the worst rehearsel day ever, sheila was flipping, she screamed at everyone and everything, and everyone was so noisy backstage, she gave us hell. She picked out all the idiots that give us hell, and gave them hell, and all of us who were around the hellish people also fell into hell, we gave them hell, they gave us hell, so essentially, everyone just gave and received hell. What a wonderful world. We ended only at 8 today, intense stuff, but we're getting better as a team, i hope. Then Liz calls me up, and well, i cant say anything cos she doesnt want me to. But, im still reeling back in shock, suddenly all the what ifs and maybes become a reality and all those speculations about things that will never happen and chances of things happening are so small, sometimes they just happen, we all believe we are agents of our own destiny, we all think we know what we're doing and whatever happens can be controlled, but it cant, limitless possibilities all start to feel too real, and something which i thought was once just a shrug off my shoulder is now something staring at me right in the face. Which really got me to thinking, what if everything i never thought would happen suddenly happened, what if nightmares become reality? Shot down in a second when they were just flying too high, too high to believe anything would ever stop them. That's life, that's what all the people say, but i guess we cant really let it get us down, cos this final world keeps spinning round. Hang in there Liz, be strong. Ok sorry, just had to let it out. I have my chinese mid year exams tomorow, mid year exams tomorow and im not doing anything about it. Well done Andrew. Well done. Tsk. Ok id better go like, read something. What happens when everything you dont want to happen, happens? Ao Monday, March 17, 2008, 9:04 PM I love you till the end. I think my life's become this endless spiral into boredom, there's nothing interesting happening, at all. Dammit. Last weekend was like pizza weekend for me, i had pizza on saturday, and on sunday. Wow. Bye bye diet plan. Pfft ok so saturday, i swear pizza hut people are such assclowns. Their customer service is like some crap you get at a retard home. I called up the pizza people, and this woman picked up, i swear she sounds as alive as a peanut. Here's how it went. Idiot woman: Hello how can i help you? Me: Hi. Urm yea. (5 second silence) Idiot woman: HI can i help? Me: Yea, ok urm, like, urm, what meal would you reccomend for 4 people? idiot woman: Twin meal. Me: Twin meal? Idiot Woman: Twin meal. Me: I dont suppose thats for 2 people only? Idiot Woman: Yes 2 people. Me: But i wans te amount that can serve 4 people. What would you reccomend for it? Idiot Woman: Twin meal. Me: Urm alright, i'll get that then. Idiot Woman: Huh? Me: YES i'll get that. Pfft. I swear pizza hut hires people with IQs of 7 or below. Its not even called the twin meal, its called the couple meal. And it came with like 2 small pizzas and 4 chicken wings, and not even the whole chicken wing, just 1/3 of it. Dad me and mom had to fight over it. Tsk. And the pizza took 2 and a half hours to come! I waited for an hour and got really sick of waiting, so i called them back to ask. And you know what, of all people my call couldve been put through to, of all the moronic monkeys who couldve picked up my call, the same idiot woman picks up the phone. Her voice is unmistakable, it has the touch of idiocy to it. Idiot Woman: Welcome to pizza hut can i help you? Me: Oh urm, hello. (Another 5 second silence) Me: Urm ok you know what, ive been waiting an hour for my pizza, you told me an hour ago my pizza would take half an hour. Idiot Woman: oh ok ok, i'll get the manager to give you a call ok? Me: Urm, ok sure? And she hung up. Tsk and you know what, no damn manager called me back. So i waited and waited and waited. Apparently our good friend Idiot Woman got my address wrong, so the driver had to like, go all over singapore to find me. Damn that idiot woman. And by the time i got my pizza, it was cold and like, dry. And i waited for 2 hours, im surprised i didnt walk to the nearest pizza hut and just steal all the pizza available. I only got them at 10! 10 pm. Stupid pizza hut. Anyway, yesterday was a party for arunan who's moving to malaysia, so it was all last minute, i turned up early to do decor and stuff with cumar and jialin. We over-ordered the pizza. We ordered like, 12 pizzas. Only like, 13 people showed up. Thats like, 1 pizza per person! Yayness. But strange thing was, i only ate 1 and a half slices and i was so full. I dunno why. I just, was so full. Thats not fair. pfft. And the balloons we used, theyre called happy balloons. Lookie. Wait, its not happy balloons. Its happy balloon. Great. Happy balloon. Oh yes, that balloon looks real happy alright. Wonderful. So yea, party wasnt exactly some hit music dancing clubbing thingy, its more like the kind of celebration you get when they have like,10% discounts on the apples at cold storage. all the health freaks rejoice. But nyeh it was fun. You know im suddenly feeling so depressed over my O levels, i wont have such a long holiday, only 1 month plus plus, cos JC and poly for my batch starts on jan 3rd next year, dammit. Of all the batches they had to try this new dickweed plan on, it had to be us. So many generations ago they couldve implied it, but it had to be my generation. Amiel now had 6 months of holiday. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Die cambridge die. Ok you know, i have work to do. But im not gonna do it. Hah. Actually no i am. I have no choice. Sigh. Seeyuh. Ao , 9:04 PM I love you till the end. Friday, March 14, 2008, 10:45 PM Hey, must be the money I am soooooooooo maxed out. I have no energy. Rehearsels zapped me completely, i cant even be bothered to get up and go find food. yea, thats how bad it is, but i guess its good. Im actually on a stable diet now, havent snacked much, dancing and exercising alot. I think ive said this before, but ah, im too tired to remember. So, my little juniors are getting really hard to control, they dont really listen to any of us when we tell em to shut up, i dont think they actually feel the heat here, our musical's in less than a month away and theyre still putting -35% energy. I swear sometimes, i really wanna kick those demented little kids. We lunched at the cafe today, and i dunno whats going on in the kitchen, doug ordered some green curry thingy. Curry isnt even supposed to be green. Curry is like, brownish-yellow, not green, and it looks like something straight out of a horror movie. And doug actually found it appetizing. Tell me, how does any ordinary human being find this appetizing? It looks like food for the walking dead. Its all green, the chicken's green, the rice is green, the curry is green, and this strange spherical substance is green. You know i have this thing against green foods that arent supposed to be green. He says they put bringols inside, thats why theyre green. bringols. Thats a bringol. Oh yes douglas, that looks green alright. Pfft. Anyway, the most awesome thing happened today. Ishaan stole one of our cds, bla bla bla long story, pisses me off so im not gonna talk about it, but, mrs rachel was really funny. So the committee stepped out of the rehearsel room to discuss the ishaan crap, and rachel stormed out, and well, here's what happened. Douglas: Ishaan is so lying lah, its damn obvious. Me: Ishaan is full of shit. (Mrs Rachel comes out) Mrs Rachel : Oh my God ive had enough of Ishaan! Seriously he's so(jumps around and stomps her feet on the ground)! he thinks he's such a big shot! Ahh seriously you know, he's so, sigh. I cant quite remember what else she said because i was too happy laughing inside my head to pay attention. Now thats just sad. When the whole school(including the teachers) hates you, its so cool. And you wont know what im talking about cos its Ishaan, all i can say is, he's Ishaan. Thats,thats basicaly all i can say. The rest is up to you to find out. Cover your eyes when you look at him though, dont want em to bleed. Oh oh oh! Look what Joel made. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Thats just so perfect!! Heaven doesnt want him, hell rejects him, earth hates him. A+ joel, A+. Ok enough about ishaan before my blood pressure goes up. yesterday, colin starts up a convo with me and asks me the darnest thing. Pfft. Yes Colin, because the tiny little rain droplets have little magical powers that allow them to stick on to the radiowaves of your internet connection, so the radiowaves get angry and start moving slower to protest the fact that raindrops are currently stuck to them. Grarrrr im tired. I cant believe that the holidays just went by, i didnt even know it was a holiday, well, it sure didnt feel like one, it went by and breezed through just like that! Click.Boom. Time, stop moving so fast dammit, slow down. woo ok, i better start sleeping, im seeing spots. Seeyuh. Ao Wednesday, March 12, 2008, 11:14 PM No one stirred the sounds of silence Ok so Chem spa went perfect, everything went well, things went smooth. Then came physics spa. Tsk. Dammit man. Everyone screwed up, everyone got different answers, and they asked us to plot like, some crap against some crap, and they gave us like some p q unkown bull ding and told us to find the values of p and q. pfft, find it yourselves. I honestly see no point whatsoever in making us do SPA, i mean how's it gonna help us out in life? if im on the verge of death, im not gonna start experimenting to find out the values of p and q, that aint gonna save my life. And come on not like the whole school's gonna become chemists and physics dudes right? Anyway, that shit's over now, rehearsels as usual after that, intense intense intense. Sheila's getting very worked up and uptight, im scared to even say good morning to her. Then after practice, we turned the room into a dance floor and started dancing like crazy, good exercise and good fun too. Then, hung out in the cafe for a while, (sheila bought tom yam soup, good stuff) and i bumped off to raffles city for a really really pathetic Ga3 gathering, only 4 people showed up. gah sorry guys, i know i didnt plan it properly, but next time i promise it'll be more fun! So they had dinner while waiting for me, and when i arrived, we went to cine's e2 max to rent a room to play games. Royston looks hilarious. Me, Lijia, Royston, Joel We decided to go with taboo. Really really funny, taboo's really fun. And they have some hell hard words to guess. Like, mohamed sultan road. How the heck do ya want me to describe mohamud sultan road?? Pfft. great, Asian Civilisations museum, without using any of those words. Like, wow. Ah well, then after that, i grabbed a starbucks latte and headed off for home. Got a full day of rehearsels tomorow, long day ahead. You know, its so strange how suddenly everyone's just obsessed over the psp? Everywhere i go, at least 5-14 people playing a psp! And yea i know its fun and all, i have a psp, but mine's so old and like, screwed up, but i got bored of it. Even my mom bought herself a psp dammit. I shit you not. Now even she's obsessed with playing that psp! When everyone around you (including your mom) starts buying a new psp slim, and you're the only one stuck with the old bulky one, you know you're quite pathetic. So you know what, for the first time in 2 years, im gonna charge my psp. Oh yes, the battery's prolly so dead, its gone into negative battery life. Ok blogger's being a real biyotch again and skipping 2 lines instead of one, and i cant like, cancel that skipped line. You know what i mean? Prolly not. Ah. Now i know i cant be the only one, see the hearts all over the world tonight that feel what i feel when im with you with you with you with you. (: A bit more of music, coffe and that warm yellow light, and sleep. Ao Monday, March 10, 2008, 8:53 PM They'll have you suicidal First of all, i swore on my frigging little life that i will never again in my existance play dota ever again, and if i can, id spary paint every last inch of earth the message " i will not play dota", and will slash that very same message all over my body just to explicitly emphasize on that little dickweed point about me never ever playing dota again, second of all, i honest to God do not give 2 shits about what you think about dota, i think its a ridiculous piece of shit that was created for sick pathetic little boys who have no lives, no brains, and IQs lower than negative 7, and id rather take my sorry little fat butt and kick it so many times, that im able to circum navigate the globe at least 25 times, cos all those things would be substantionally cooler than playing a game of dota. So Colin, ernest or whoever other crack whores in my class who are spamming my board, get a life, go play with your little asswipe brains that are so miniscule in size, that you're able to pop them right out of your ear hole and use them as a basketball for the flea circus. Sigh. Forget them Andrew. Move on. Yesterday was boring boring, tuition with Vader, then rushed off for dad's concert, he and his band were playing for some NUS thing. He did good as always. but thatsnot my dad's job, he just does all these things in his free time, cos he(just like me) is an insomnianc he hardly sleeps. Isnt that wonderful? A family of sleepless buggers. I went backstage, and i expected to see a normal backstage manager doing his thing, but instead i saw the sasquatch. He looked kinda like this Ok, so this is a picture of the sasquatch but still i swear, he looks just like that. I wouldve gotten a picture of the guy himself, if not for the sheer genuine fear that he might flick my head off. Sigh but anyway, he rocked the stage, and for once, im proud to call him my dad. But anyway,today, went back to school for rehearsels. Same old same old. I have a salsa solo. But its the most gayest thing ive ever seen. Sigh. And you know, i swear teachers get all the good stuff, and the students get diseased food. Here's what they keep in their office fridge They look so yummy. And this is a sample of what we got. What in God's name is that thing? The box said chicken rice. So is that supposed to be chicken?? Looks more like dead babies fingers. And oh look its green. Green. Green chicken. Great, we get green chicken now. And when i bust into the staff room, look what sheila was doing. Eating chips. Great. Pfft actually, the food provided wasnt even ours to take, the OM was having a camp, and they just left their food in the room and didnt lock the door. Bad move. Unlocked doors with food behind it, how can i resist? besides, i was hungry And so was everyone else cos we all took food. I also stole a packet of cup noodles, but i decided to give it back cos i was too full from the demon chicken rice, i even gave a note to accompany the returned food. Pfft. What an honest deed Andrew. Well done. After all that, some of us stayed after rehearsels to screw around, nothing else to do. You know, the buying of the new coo lamp for my room sparked this sudden need to make my room look cooler, so yesterday, i ripped off all the old posters in my room and re-decorated small parts of my room. It looks way better now. check it out. yeaayuhh. my O levels chem spa is tomorow, dammit. I just realised its tomorow, its so near. Oh God. I better go study for it. Or my ass is dead. Seeyuh. Ao Sunday, March 9, 2008, 12:06 AM If i could, id be there. We run this. Friday went by like shmuck. Vocals after school, and our music producer finally arranged the songs, so he added in all the drums, the guitars and the ooomph factor that our music writer really didnt have. Our music writer cannot sing. He cannot sing. Honestly, i woulda prefered 54 hours of middled aged karaoke banshees than hearing him sing. So yea, worked on my other song, which i really like, cos its very salsa-ish and has that jump-around feel to it. Ishaan wasnt there(thank God) cos sheila told him he didnt need to come. Bless you sheila. Bless you. Chilled in the cafe after that, and since ishaan wasnt there, it was especially fun to insult him, but it got boring after a while cos he wasnt there, so we made our own ishaan. And we made a story of how ishaan, represented by a coke bottle, swallowed a knife and fell headfirst into a bucket and died. Then we took turns throwing paper balls and flicking bottle caps at it. Oh yea, we're such interesting folk. We did this for an hour. yea cheap thrills, can you blame us? Its the only way to pass time. I wonder, if one day ishaan became like, president (God forbid) Singapore would crash so badly, we'd have to like, shift to another planet. pfft. Today was boring like hell. I slept till 12. Then went headed off for lync. My second time being there and its fun, jammed like crazy after all was over. And i swear there are alot of talented musicians there. Then i went to ikea, and i bought a new lamp. That pretty much sums up my day. You know someone's life is really pathetic when the highlight of his day was buying a new lamp. But yes, i bought a new lamp. Whoopee. It sure beats that ugly white flourecent light up on my ceiling before, now i have a nice warm yellow stand lamp. Oh hell i just realised, its the start of the holidays. But what bull, there aint no holidays, gotta go back to school every day for rehearsels and lessons. I had another interesting convo with my dad today, one of oh so few i have every now and then, we communicated more in sociable grunts than words. . . Dad: mm? me: grunt Dad: grunt me: grunt grunt Dad: mmhmm. . . Translated, that means, . . Dad: Wotcha doing? Me: Work. Stress. Kill me. Dad: Get used to it son, welcome to hell. Me: Pfft, thanks. Dad: Have fun. . . Wonderful no? I have this persistant nagging neckache that wont go away. Shoo neck ache. Shoo. As you can see, i make no more sense. pfft. Sue me. Im outta here. Seeyuh. Ao Thursday, March 6, 2008, 8:53 PM So much darkness in the world, but i see beauty left in you girl, Today, i went to SAFTI MI, its urm, singapore armed forces blaa dee blaa. Well, i gotta admit, the place is hell huge, its like, 30 something acres. So we went to all sorts of training areas and all that. We went to this freakishly tall tower where soldiers would belay rope down the side of, and i swear, its so tall, when you reach the top (which is where they take you) you wont be standing on both feet, you'd be on your knees, cos there are no barriers that prevent you from falling off the edge of the tower, so basically, you slip, you die. I was so scared, i didnt even manage to take a picture cos my hands were too busy gripping onto the side of the wall. You'd think that the view would be romantic and breath taking, but it is nowhere near even close to the viscinity of the meaning of the word romantic. And the lift was like, the kind you find in the 1800s when they first invented the elevator. It could only take 6 people at a time. Now, you know i'll have a problem fitting that criteria. But i survived, but while goin up the lift, you can actually hear the lift scraping on the side of the walls. You know, its funny how so many of the people around me are from Star Wars, honestly, my tuition teacher's darth vader, Ishaan is jar jar binks, and joel chee is, joel chee. Today i found another addition to my star wars pose'. He used to be the chancellour of the galactic empire, he's the head honcho of the Sith lords, but is now residing in singapore working as a tour guide for the singapore army, Ladies and Gentlemen, Darth Sidious. Honestly, he looks exactly like Darth Sidious. look, compare. See? Im not kidding. he really is darth sidious. And he had this cold, creepy haunting reverence about him, the way he looked at you, its like he can kill you with a bite. Interesting fellas on this tiny planet. So he took us all around these honoured places ( they looked like ordinary rooms) Like this. Like, oh wow, its a silver sword and a torch. Woopee. Darth Sidious said its a very sacred room where army officers become something when they pass something on to someone with the something in the, yea, so i didnt really pay attention to his talks. But can you blame me? He's so boring i almost fell asleep standing up. Then they made us watch some video about the army. One word, Propaganda. All the dudes in there were smiling and looking so happy while they trudged around the field covered in sweat and crap. They payed them $10 to smile. Then they made us try the combat rations. Which tasted ike dog food. But hey, when im hungry, i'll eat dog food. Pfft, i swear i think im gonna die in the army. And who's fault is it? Oh ho ho not the government, oh no, not with their white wigs and their court shoes and robes from 1768. Ah anyway, im gonna go enjoy the rest of my thursday cos i wont enjoy my friday. Why? Cos darth vader is coming. Pfft. Screw the siths. Ao Wednesday, March 5, 2008, 8:16 PM the pain makes me feel like im alive Ok, so i figured what the hell, life goes on. When life gives you lemons, you burn the lemons, and throw em back at life ablazing glory. Monday was hilarious, Joel chee had to give a speech for oral comm. I swear, i have never seen anything so breath taking. Literally. last year, when he gave his speech, he was a total mess, he held his watch in his hands and wildly flailed his arms about and croaked in his alien language. And he never took his eyes off his watch. I laughed so hard, i dont think i breathed for 2 minutes. Then monday, oh monday, his speech was supposed to be about why he didnt prepare a speech. Who the hell writes a speech about how he/she didnt prepare a speech?? So somehow, his incredible speech led to him telling us about his camp and how he trekked all over the hills of Singapore. Now how does that relate back to his already very unrelated speech of how he didnt prepare a speech? So the teacher got pissed and sent him out of class, then he started pacing up and down and talking to himself outside class. I think our teacher was genuinely petrified. pfft. hes getting weirder and weirder by the second. You know, i really hate DOTA. pfft yea, Defense Of The Ancients. Try Defence Of The Asswipes. I swear its the most annoying game ever spawned, and so many people actually find it fun. How can sitting in front of a computer screen navigating a 3 dimensional computer generated figure killing each other for the mere satisfaction of their twisted little minds? Oh yea, this is so super awesome fun. Wow. I played DOTA like, 3 times in my life, and all 3 times were with pek and all, and i swear, its so ridiculously stupid. Everyone else is a pro at it, and im the only noob, and i have no bloody idea how to play well, and i dont know what to buy. And now Pek and all are making fun of how i always buy the wrong things. Well excuse me if im not a mind numbed dickweed who treats dota like my life. Pfft. The last time i played, i got so pissed off that i quit the game, and played star wars. Yea when someone starts to play star wars, you know they really had no other choice. I swear the world's trying to piss me off. And this whole terrorist idiot is really annoying me. Jeemah Islamyaisoidfsds or however you spell it, J.I., more like Just Irritating. Everyday i open the newspapers and i see all this hype bout a limping terrorist. if they really wanted him caught, they should hold a ransom over his head, like, offer a couple thousand grand for his head. I swear all those broke homeless mofos will go after him with sticks and rocks. wouldnt it be funny if at the end of the day, the person who catches this mas selemat fella wont be some top notch police officer, but the short smelly fart who lives in the drain next to your house? pfft. What a sight. Anyway, rehearsels again today and i honestly think we suck. Like really, none of them are really acting well, no one's got energy, we're just reciting memorized lines, not acting, not putting emotion into our scenes. I wont pay money to watch my own show. heck, id pay money to not watch it. Oh hell im putting down my own musical. Ah we'll get better eventually before show time. Life's shit now, but its ok, nobody's gonna understand, so i'll just keep it to myself, for the world to see. Well, math aint gonna do itself. Seeyuh. Ao Tuesday, March 4, 2008, 10:08 PM I just stare out my window, dreaming of what could be School's just getting crazier every day. Sorry im not really in the mood to blog. I'll have a proper update soon i promise. But for now, i just need to get away. Ao Monday, March 3, 2008, 8:08 PM Cold Standing on the edge broken not much you can do not much you can say twisting and bursting every possible corner of your aching body it burns within the depths of your soul, but cold cold. Burning but freezing, oppressed everywhere, every last possible inch of mind left within. Amplified pain. Screaming till your lungs burst but no one hears a sound. No one hears a sound. Darkness creeps embraced Silence creeps embraced Pain creeps embraced pulled the trigger. Goodbye. Ao You never know how much you hurt me. Sunday, March 2, 2008, 12:14 AM Head underwater and you told me, to breathe easy for a while Haha she's so cute, trying to quickly eat the ice cream. :) Today was awesome, cos after so many days of stressing out and all that hoo haa, today was a real break. Met lynnie in the morning for shopping and what not. And amazingly, we covered every single shop in far east at least twice. Well done us. Lunched at long john's and it was totally deserted, so really quiet. We were supposed to watch the leap years, but we missed the timing, so watched ps i love you instead. And i swear its such an awesome movie. Its that really romantic sappy crap, but i love romantic sappy crap. In fact, i loved it so much, i cant tell you about it in my normal state cos i fear coming accross as homosexual. So here's me going into gay mode. . Like omg, it was so nice! I actually felt like crying so many times cos jerry was just so sweet to holly cos he wrote and sent all those letters to her even after he died, and how he put ps i love you after every single letter,gawsh i loved it. . Alright. Im normal now. So we walked all over the place, talked, sang, laughed. And this is the real knockout, lynn for the first time ever, bought nothing. Absolutely nothing after 4 hours of browsing through all those shops and tearing them apart like paper bags. Wow. Oh and this is really hilarious, i couldnt resist taking a picture of it. Now thats just sad, notice how the whole thing is crumpled such that it makes her look really pissed off? haha Then she left for home and mom picked me up cos we had to rush off for dinner cos its my mom's birthday. ( i quickly bought her a handbag from far east today) Went to dad's club for dinner with granny and gramps. Food's good as always. Then we went to the karaoke room. Dad told me he used to bring me to the karaoke room when i was an infant, no wonder my childhood was traumatizing. If any of you haven't been to a karaoke room, dont go. Ever. And im talkin bout those karaoke rooms where its filled with middle aged women with voices that would not only wake the dead, but kill them again at the same time repeatedly till the dead would voluntarily fill their ears with cement and iron fillings. I swear, theyre all banshees in disguise. There's this woman who tried to sing right here waiting. I'll never listen to that song the same way again. But hey at least they had fun, and its a good thing i guess. But my ears didnt have fun. Ah anyway, tomorow's when all the crap starts again. the studying, the books, the teachers, the bull ding nonsence. Sigh. Thanks for the awesome day lynnie. <3 i think liz has been abducted by aliens, shes like, missing. Im quite worried actually. Dunno what happened to her. Coffee, bed, the tiny blue light of the radio illuminates in the corner, the soft glow of the night light casting strange shadows accross the floor, the soft humming of the air con echoes all around, and in this tiny little moment of sanity, she's all you can think of, cos shes the only thing that makes you feel like you're home. I think i'll enjoy the rest of my sanity before hell begins, i'll be seeing you. . . . Ao . . . . when you look in her eyes and she's looking back in yours, everything,feels, not quite normal. Because you feel stronger and weaker at the same time. You feel excited and at the same time, terrified. The truth is, you don't know what you feel except you know what kind of man you want to be. It's as if you've reached the unreachable and you weren't ready for it.		the machiavellian ist Vanity isn't a sin, a little narcissm wouldn't hurt. The World would be a much lesser place without corndogs and pizzas. Facebook Andrew. Music. Food. People. What more could you possibly want?		partnersincrime One day when i wake up and find the motive and time to link anybody, i'll let you know. backtoyesterday + Truth is, babe, I love you too. + Sometimes I walk out the door with a smile on my f... + Moments are a lot more real than what you make the... + Only when you can separate the mind from the heart... + Life is becoming a day old chewing gum that's gone... + The world has too much to say sometimes. Every ind... + It's starting to get dark now and the world around... + The heart is thrown into a free fall and the very ... + I've pictured that moment before. About one year a... + Hero. You think you're getting somewhere, slim, bu... wheni'mgone + April 2007 + May 2007 + June 2007 + July 2007 + August 2007 + September 2007 + October 2007 + November 2007 + December 2007 + January 2008 + February 2008 + March 2008 + April 2008 + May 2008 + June 2008 + July 2008 + August 2008 + September 2008 + October 2008 + November 2008 + December 2008 + January 2009 + February 2009 + March 2009 + April 2009 + May 2009 + June 2009 + July 2009 + August 2009 + September 2009 + October 2009 + November 2009 + December 2009 + January 2010 + February 2010 + March 2010 + April 2010 + June 2010 + July 2010 + August 2010 + September 2010 + October 2010 + November 2010 + December 2010 + January 2011 + February 2011 + March 2011 + April 2011 takeabow An accidentality production Inspiration from DancingSheep & BONBON:D		theventingmachine