Where The Light Is

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fences

this is the deep and dying breath

give my gun away when it's loaded

the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you

because this road is all you'll ever have

plugin&play If you read, you will judge. the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return
My Dear we're slow dancing in a burning room	Friday, June 26, 2009, 7:38 PM But life goes on, without you. Yesterday, Today, i spent in a room packed with 7-9 year olds, some with attitude problems, some with motor-skill issues, and some who are just unaware that they can be so annoying, you'd wanna throw bricks at their heads. I got kicked, pulled, whipped, slapped, beat, punched, elbowed, kneed, flicked, spat, jumped on, and on top of it all i had books flung at me at top speeds, i had half a dozen little ingrint children pile their gremlin little assheads all over me at the same time thinking i was the latest buy from the Ikea couch section, my crotch had been slammed, punched and jabbed a total of 5 times today. For some reason, children enjoy treating me like a machine, like this non-destructible soft toy that has an inbuilt home entertainment system that they have the remote for, over and over again i was asked to do magic tricks, beatbox and sing. My only retreat was the carecentre's office which was strictly off limits to the munchkins, i slowly disappeared into the room every now and then to hide. It was not safe outside of the office. It felt like a war-zone out there filled with children ready to take your eye out with pencils and plastic chew toys. In other less exciting news, Michael Jackson died today. I'm kidding bout the less exciting part, and i wish i was about the latter as well, but unfortunately, i'm not. I awoke today to a message, frantic and shocked, from Afi telling me that michael jackson had passed, and at first, i was so skeptical about it and dismissed her message then i went back to sleep. But thanks to Dad's usual morning BBC rounds blasting at high volumes as he does his usual workouts, i heard the news on TV and i kinda sat on my bed for awhile in disbelief. I mean, shit, his music was one of the first i ever listened to, back in the day, it was MIchael Jackson, Prince (rather, the artist formerly as prince) James Brown and Queen who i would always listen to. Not to mention, seeing MJ dance in the video for thriller was my very first foray into the dance world, his style and feel for his music was legendary, after all, what would modern day pop culture be without the prince of pop? Me saying this would mean jackshit to anyone, but, Rest in peace Michael, you'll always live on, through your music and our hearts. I have an exam tomorrow, yes, on a saturday. Tsk. The following week is also filled with exams, terrifying exams that will break us all down into tears and sorrow. Godammit. I'll seeyuh when i seeyuh. ao Wednesday, June 24, 2009, 3:04 PM I'll be seeing you Another free day today. Whoopee. Today, i slept longer than i ever have before. Woke up at 12 for the first time ever, the last time i slept that long was when i went for my appendectomy way back when i was 14. Pfft. Caught Angels and demons with Mich yesterday, damn it was good, caught ghosts of girlfriend's past and drag me to hell last week with Mich too, can't exactly remember when though. Yes, after the extremely long halt on movie watching, i've decided to take the opportunity in the past week or so to watch as many movies as i can so that i will never have to say "The last movie i watched was Twilight" again. The latter 2 were good, i mean, drag me to hell was an alright horror movie, realistic in some sense but not entirely nightmare-ish. And ghosts of girlfriend's past was surprisingly enjoyable, better than i expected it to be. A couple days ago, i saw a link to the CNA website that came with the instructions "Go here to vote for extension of school hols!" And so, like a fool, i did, and believed, for once, that a democratic student vote could sway the decision of the Government. But as i suspected, the votes didn't do jackshit in anything, albeit the results were 89% for an extension, the rest of the votes were probably teachers secretly rebelling against this movement. Well, with this little pig flu at hand, something tells me there's gonna be a lot of fuss over it in schools ; Parents pulling students out of school, students falling sick, students faking sick, I mean hey, this is Singapore after all. Pfft. It doesn't exactly help that my terms are exactly when school starts, should be a blast to see what happens. Somehow, i have this feeling that at some point, everyone's gonna stop and say that it was a terrible idea to force students to congregate in the masses to learn new things and get information shoved down their little brains in this time of total disparity. Although, i have to admit, i'm not really that worried about the pig flu, seems to me that everyone's just making too big a fuss over it. Pfft. Michelle's birthday party on monday, went there for a bit around 8 with the rest of the usual gang after getting lost for a good 20 minutes in Harbor Front. Me, sivvy, pris and archa (Ivhanmuse) played a set for her, it was probably the most unprepared set we've ever played and we had our moments of what-are-we-doing midway through songs, but we pulled through ok in the end. No one noticed that we had no idea what we were doing. We received our flu jabs and tetanus shots in the day for Vienna, to ensure we don't return with some foreign masco-vascular related disease/disorder/psychosis. While everyone walked out of the injection room with scrunched up faces and the contorted look of sheer pain on their faces, i walked out feeling like i had just gotten my hair cut. I dunno, prolly the immense amount of meat on my arms that prevented much pain, or the needle missed where it was sposed to hit and got stuck in the middle of somewhere. Pfft. Although i must admit, my arms are starting to ache quite a bit now for some reason. Hmm. This song's been on my replay list for about a week now, ever since i bought the Ryan Adams album. I'm going to be a good student for a day and hit the books again, i'll seeyuh when i seeyuh, ao Wednesday, June 17, 2009, 12:12 AM Fly Big metal containers. I sit by the horizon, watching them turn into dots and fade away, i call and shout to them, but never have they stopped and stayed, Crammed, like a sardine can, gargantuous beings, who made them fly anyway? I sit and wait by the windows, soon you will be inside, floating away from me. Away from us. Waiting on the edge of what we cannot escape, we hush our thoughts of what life might be without you, inevitably, our thoughts, our fears, our nightmares, slowly ebb into the ugly face of reality. Who's to hush the screams then? Your scoff, your stare, Your chopped off hair, Your scowl, Your frown, Your feel, Your sound, All these bits make me wish i lived on a different coast, But they're the bits i know i'd miss the most, One by one we wait, By the gate, You'll walk through soon enough, into the big metal container That will take you away from us. 59 days left, not much, so take my hand, we'll try to make it last forever, while we still can, Coming from me, on our behalf at least, Why The hell, Do you have to Leave? ao Tuesday, June 16, 2009, 11:35 PM Chocolate You sit there with your dreamy eyes, you look at him like nothing you ever could have dreamed of would ever come by your way again, his stare like a mirror to yours, you tuck your hair behind your ear as his lips touch yours, cherry red, Slowly you tangle a lock in between your fingers, his dribble slips down your chin, Slowly, like melted chocolate on dry sand, he pulls you in closer, his muscles ripple under your touch, your giggle, drives him wild. Drives me wild. His hand, the columbus to your undiscovered territory, slips under your shirt. Slowly. Touches your chest, drives you wild. Drives me wild. I zoom out and breakaway, ring marks around my eyes, they sting. You don't have to tell me, i know he's good looking. Yes i've heard that before too. Yes about his eyes, i know, he's everything you ever dreamed of ok i get it, i'll call you back later ok? Bye. Shut. SHUT. SHUT. I need my silence. You put down the phone and smile again, it drops to the ground and claps shut as he snatches you away from it. Away from me. Sweet words doth he speak, i spoke them too if you remember. He untangles your hair and pulls your face into his again. His cheeks touch yours, like the blade touches mine. Tick, tock, Lick, lock, Enthralled Embrace, forever. I don't feel the sharp. Crimson, down my chest, down my feet, headfirst into the ground, Explode. Red. You don't see. You smile, I jump, You hug, i thump, You kiss, i call, You fly. I F A L L Because you dont think i can write. ao Saturday, June 13, 2009, 3:19 PM This house is not for sale Ok i just need to say something. Seriously, these quizzes on facebook. I understand some of them, i take some of them cos im bored, or at least, i take the quizzes that i know i won't know the answer to so that i can laugh about it and go "Oh hey, i never knew that." But then, some quizzes that people take that you'd assume they wouldn't give a flying fanny fish about, but No, they take it anyway. For example, the quiz that goes " What type of person are you?" Or the one that goes "Do people like you?" Or the one that goes "Are you a good texter?" I mean, shit ok i understand if you've got self analysis issues and are unable to understand yourself properly, but, why take a quiz that's going to tell you something you already know?? Are you that psychologically impaired that you require the assistance of an online social network quiz to help you understand what type of person you are? Or if people like you? Or if you can text message well? And the best one i've found so far, "What is your birth month?" I mean, ok i understand if you can't properly get your muck together and realize what type of person you are or if somebody likes you, but shit if you don't know what month you were born then hell there is something that is seriously wrong with you! Why d'you even take the quiz?? I mean, was your birth such a mystery that for 17 odd years you didn't know what day you were born and suddenly happen to chance upon a facebook quiz that would tell you that piece of information that was preventing the smooth flow of your life? Heck even if i was bored i wouldn't take that quiz. Oh but then there's the mother of all quizzes, the "Life Evaluation Quiz" ?!?!?!?! Life evaluation quiz? You're gonna take a quiz that's gonna evaluate your life? On facebook? It's beyond sad that anyone would have to use a facebook quiz as a means to evaluate their sad little freakshit lives. Tsk. ao Thursday, June 11, 2009, 8:55 PM I wish you would So i tried making a xanga, and i did. Then it looked like complete ass, so i tried to edit it and make it look decent. But that didn't go so well, so after trying so much to succeed in that department, i have decided to flip it off and go back to blogspot. I was destined to never use anything but it to write my words down for the world to see. Now that i've got time,(for now) i'm going to post on this thing a little bit more. (while i still can). So what's my life been recently you ask? The word rehearsal is all i can think of. Nothing but that every hour on the hour. It's either that or hitting the books trying to cram a bunch of very pathetic and probably un-useful information about the world economy and it's theories, ideologies and concepts, books by a bunch of weirdos about a sea that's wide and sargasso-ed, and one about girls who are top. That wouldn't have made sense unless you actually knew what subjects i take and take it too. But where was i, oh yes, my life. It's not too bad actually, you'd think i'd be contemplating suicide around now, but, i'm having a whale of a time, and i say that with the least bit of sarcasm by mind can muster. Here's a rough timeline of (not so) important events in the past week or so. Saturday Restless IV with Lynn, Thai express supper with mel, michelle, hannah, becky and lian. Hannah stays over Sunday Meet the parents, 50 first dates, dug out old movies from my dusty dvd covercase to watch with Hannah. Monday Archanaa's birthday, day of complete insanity. Rehearsals, then dinner at my place. Bryant, pris, sivvy, archa, ken stayover, we go to the beach at 11pm and leave at 4am. Tuesday Afternoon with michelle at parkway to cut her hair an to rent a couple of DVDs from videoezy (is that how you spell it?), namely, jane eyre, proof, Shutter, dead silence and made of honour. Retired to my house after grabbing macs and watched shutter and made of honour late into the night. Wednesday Rehearsals and committee interviews, Dinner at michelle's place then watched Jane Eyre, most of it, except the last bit. I go home a tired, en-shambled and exhausted man. Y'know, i've been having subway everyday at least once for the past 2 weeks, i don't know why, but i just have been. I could never get sick of that stuff. Normally i'd order a BMT on parmesan oregano, but recently i decided to be a lil more versatile and go for the melt on the italian. It's a delicious mix of turkey bacon, ham and salami. Go try it. Also, Hannah introduced me to the tuna wrap which is really good. Try it too. But as a result of these expensive meals, my wallet's been crying for mercy, but i've been cutting back costs on everything else, so i guess it balances out in the end. From the last couple of days or weeks, here's my life in colour. MichelleMarieJosephineChern There's still Dead silence left in my little stash of DVDs to watch, it needs to be returned by monday. No way in hell am i watching that alone though. Will prolly catch it with mich on saturday night though. Meh, i'll seeyuh when i seeyuh. ao Tuesday, June 2, 2009, 12:54 PM There's really no way to reach me I've been doing a great deal of thinking, and Kat helped in spurring me on for this, but im finally back on this ol' thing. And with great ambitions to switch to a xanga, i realized how old and outdated this rusty thing is that i dont even remember how to blog. My life's been non-existent. Literally. But the holidays are here! What's left of it of course. 80% of it is taken up by rehearsals, i barely have time for myself. Today's one of those rare days where i wake up and actually have the option of going back to sleep again. And i did. I've spent the last 2 hours trying to customize my xanga to make it look decent. But nothing good's coming out of it. Tsk. ao		the machiavellian ist Vanity isn't a sin, a little narcissm wouldn't hurt. The World would be a much lesser place without corndogs and pizzas. Facebook Andrew. Music. Food. People. What more could you possibly want?		partnersincrime One day when i wake up and find the motive and time to link anybody, i'll let you know. backtoyesterday + Truth is, babe, I love you too. + Sometimes I walk out the door with a smile on my f... + Moments are a lot more real than what you make the... + Only when you can separate the mind from the heart... + Life is becoming a day old chewing gum that's gone... + The world has too much to say sometimes. Every ind... + It's starting to get dark now and the world around... + The heart is thrown into a free fall and the very ... + I've pictured that moment before. About one year a... + Hero. 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