Where The Light Is

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fences

this is the deep and dying breath

give my gun away when it's loaded

the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you

because this road is all you'll ever have

plugin&play If you read, you will judge. the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return
My Dear we're slow dancing in a burning room	Thursday, July 30, 2009, 11:53 PM Snort. Ok, so before i go on about Vienna, i just need to say something that's been bugging me the entire day. So i woke up this morning with an insane fever of 39.9 degrees, so i got abit worried, popped a panadol and slept it off, by afternoon, my temperature had dropped to a 37.5 when i went to see the doctor, and i, mind you, am not suffering from any symptoms of swine flu except for the fever, im not coughing, not sneezing, i just generally have alot of phlegm in my chest but thats been going on for days now. But Dr. Nut hump goes on to diagnose me with a 7 day mc/quarantine when im perfectly ok! I've no headache no body ache no difficulty breathing, no symptoms of swine flu except the fever WHICH IS KINDA GONE. But the asswipe wont back up and still insists that even if my fever is gone, i stay home anyway cos im overweight and have a low immunity system. ??? Low immunity system?!? You're making as much sense as a talking teaspoon on vodka, how the hell do i have a low immunity system?? The last time i stepped into his clinic for a severe illness was 2 years ago! And i barely fall sick at all, the furthest it goes is a cough and a sneeze and i'm better overnight, i think it's pretty darn safe to say that i have a high immunity system. Plus, aren't larger people generally more resistant to these things? isn't it the skinny scrawny people who tend to have low immunity systems?? So ok, i took his advice well and told myself y'know, maybe he's right, maybe this dickweed of a man is right and maybe my fever would escalade by the night and i'd start nauseating and throwing up everywhere. But hey, surprise surprise, im feeling better than i ever did! My temperature's now at a 36.6 and all pain in my head has vanished like powder in water. So i'm gonna call this cesspool of shit tomorrow and convince him that i'm perfectly healthy, i'll cartwheel around a football field while juggling apples with my toes if i have to. Geez. [Edit] So i went to the docs again to try and reason out with that nut hump to ask for a removal of my quarantine. The conversation sort of went like this. Me: "Ok so my fever's gone completely, it's been gone since yesterday when i saw you and my temperature hasn't risen above 37.0 at all since then, so i was wondering if i could perform tonigh-" Dr. I-got-my-Phd-from-a-free-porn-website : You have swine flu! Me: But i dont even have a fever anymore, it broke a long time ago, and i'm not coughing or sneezing or having any body pains, in fact i- Dr. I-got-my-Phd-from-a-free-porn-website : You have swine flu! Me: But i dont have any of the symptoms of swine flu, look if you could just listen to- Dr. I-got-my-Phd-from-a-free-porn-website : You have swine flu! Me: But this doesn't even make sense, my friends who have worse conditions than me only got 3 days of an MC and they've recovered fine already, so since i'm also recovered, why can't i- Dr. I-got-my-Phd-from-a-free-porn-website : You have swine flu! Me: You're not making sense here, just listen ok? How can i have any sort of suspicion of having swine flu if i dont have any of its symptoms to begin with? Can't you see tha- Dr. I-got-my-Phd-from-a-free-porn-website : You have swine flu! Me: I don't understand you, honestly, i'm feeling great and i'm perfectly alright, please just let me- Dr. I-got-my-Phd-from-a-free-porn-website : You have swine flu! Me: I have a show to do tonight, it's something we've been preparing for for a long time and if you could just- Dr. I-got-my-Phd-from-a-free-porn-website : You have swine flu! Me: You're a useless cunt. Dr. I-got-my-Phd-from-a-free-porn-website : You have swine flu! I can honestly say, i am never going back to this doctor again though it's the same one i've been visiting for all my woes for the past 17 years of my life. Clearly, this dickweed has no proper sense of meaning of the word logic. So i'm suspected and under observation for swine flu because i HAD a fever that lasted for 3 hours? So i'm being diagnosed with something who's criteria i don't even fit? This is as good as telling a man he's pregnant. I swear, sometimes, doctors can be the stupidest imbecilic things that dont deserve any space on this planet. I think an ant with syphilis and AIDS has more worth than this doctor. Stupid son of a [End of edit] Monday, July 13, 2009, 10:17 PM I wrapped myself in a bag 3 Days away to Vienna. I'm almost done packing, just gotta chuck in some pants and a couple tshirts and i'm good to go. Excited isn't even near what i'm feeling right now. It's just waiting on the edge of something i've been looking forward to for months, and it's finally getting closer. Got some of the results back today, i didn't do great, but i didn't do bad either, for me at least. See, i've a theory, if you start out doing not so good in everything at first, it gives you this motivation to do better the next time. And yes, inevitably, people around you will do better, that's just a given. Otherwise, there'd be no competition. But i'm not into the whole academic race thing. It's never been my cup of tea. Albeit i feel crappy that i got beat in my own game, i guess i just gotta remember, the words i write weren't meant to be judged. Or graded for that matter. I've always found my writing skills leaning more towards a less academic inclination. But for now, i'll just have to try, i guess. "I'm on the right track" anyway, right? Get Damien Rice's album O, go to the track Eskimo then wait for the 7th minute of the song or so, a hidden track comes on which i personally feel very inspired by. It's called prague. This video's of a dance interp of it. Very good stuff. Exactly what i saw this song being used for. And this, is just cos it was stuck in my head all night. Michael gave his songs the best feel. After PW today in the com lab, Mr Fong pulled down the screen and hit the projector on and showed us this. I never knew Mr Fong actually listened to this, i hereby swear that he is the most awesome teacher anyone can have. I need to hit the sack before i wake up tomorrow and feel so tired that i sleep in the shower. (again). I'll seeyuh when i seeyuh. ao Saturday, July 11, 2009, 11:53 PM And it's all that i want it to be That was the last time i'd ever, we'd ever, do that again. The last word, the last song, the last nervous backstage glance, i'd never wear that shirt again, you'd never wear that skirt again, i'd never spray my hair grey again, you'd never make your hair look like a bee-hive again, we'd never have to move that stupid couch again which i (don't) feel like setting on fire. That was my last time on stage with you, and what a road it's been. That was all of our last times with all of you on stage. Now that it's all over, and Mr Cambridge has seen what he has seen, we no longer need to worry about anything of that sort, no worry about how fast we're speaking or how loud we actually are, not just me, but all of us. No more mini-wars around a sheet of paper blue tacked to a wall, no more rejecting lunches with friends with the same old line "Oh guys i've got IS." None of that anymore. No more rehearsals with you in that freezing little studio doing the same old lines over and over again until i'd be able to tattoo the entire script onto thousands of people with my eyes closed and AC/DC screaming in my ear. All the hype's over. Our pain, our misery, our eye bags, our purposes, our motives, we won't have to see each other anymore and focus to discuss over the seriousness of everything and how we must be prepared and how we must get everything right on the day itself. No more of any of that. So, i guess, i'll see you 'round? ao Wednesday, July 8, 2009, 9:00 PM La Fille Danse We're a week away from what we've been dreaming of for months, we'll walk onto the plane like nothing else in the world mattered, travel a thousand miles across the globe to some fancy european union nation and do what we love so much. The lights, the music, the people, just the smell of the place sends this little tingle of excitement down my spine, its exhilarating. And i'm spending every minute of it with you. Viennese thing. Ottoman couch, how handsome your furniture. Crewing today for the IS since Vinesh's is tomorrow and i was free today. Got off it early cos madam wanted those who had IS tomorrow in the morning to return home and sleep. And so sleep i did. Coma on the couch for a good 3 hours and woke up and refused to sleep again. So i picked up the copy of Tess Gerritsen's The Sinner i got over the weekend and lost myself in it. I was saving it for the plane flight but, oh well, sue me. I'm about 1/4 way through, slowing down considerably so i have something to entertain myself for 12 hours on a chair. In a winged box. In the air. It's another early morning tomorrow. The alarm's for 5am and i hope i get up this time. Mich if you're reading this, i'll be at your place at 6 sharp, dont make me wait in the car again like today. I'm kidding. Wasn't your fault. It's freezing and this is the thousandth time im watching this video. I never get bored of it. I'll seeyuh when i seeyuh. ao Monday, July 6, 2009, 10:29 PM She's angry like a child, but how sweet. So, i was on the phone with Mich, ears burning from the radiation and voice tired from all the talking, then my mom opens the door and chucks a heavenly box of Sarpino's pizza on my desk. Heaven with every bite. Don't ask me the relevance and or point of the following photo. I really don't know myself. Sunday, July 5, 2009, 10:41 PM City rain, City streets I thought this ol' thing could use a do-over, and i happened to find a nice skin lying around in one of those pages, so i tweaked it slightly and now it's what you'll see every time you read this. It's cold, but i like it. I don't wanna turn off the air-con cos that would just make my room stuffy and i can't open up the windows cos then, water would run in. My air-con mad a loud coughing sound earlier on and it stopped working for awhile, worried me for abit but i turned it off for awhile and it's ok now. I'm betting it won't last through the night, or even the next hour or so. 11 days to Vienna. We got our packing lists on friday and i'm looking forward to it more than i looked forward to the last day of the O levels. Yesterday was the final tech run before the actual A levels on the 7th. Being in 2 A level candidates' ISs, i can only guess that the slight fear im feeling is only a mere fraction of the complete breakdown that's eating away at their minds. But admittedly, their pieces are far beyond perfect, for both ISs, i do believe. I can finally lay Vinesh's piece to rest after thursday, but for Hannah's, just when you think it's all gonna be over, we've been asked to showcase it on the 11th (saturday) as part of a showcase of many other IS pieces. Definitely worth a watch, tickets are free too. I've got 5 to give away, any poor sod who's free on saturday can get tickets from me. Gimme a buzz or whatever. The showcase is aimed at encouraging secondary students to join the DEP program if and when they come to AC, this means that the people i'm performing for on saturday are possibly the people who will be my juniors next year. Something oddly daunting about that thought., don't you think? I mean, this means, in less than no time, i'm gonna be just like Hannah, or Vinesh, or Lian, or any of my poor seniors. Their tears will soon be mine. Now, that i think of what i've gotten myself into, all the time i'm gonna have to commit, all my soul that i'm gonna have to give, all that passion and love for this art that i'm gonna have to live on, anyone would look away and dismiss these requirements and turn away immediately, but, i can't wait. The entire week, i'll be missing school because of this A level DEP exam, it's a requirement that i crew too aside from being in an IS, this means, no school the entire week. The week after will only be school for 4 days before the 10 of us leave for Vienna. This means, for the next 3 weeks, i'll only be going to class for only 4 days. I see days of intense catching up ahead. But it'll be worth it, for Vienna. I realize that these days, my blog posts never go beyond this length, its like i've run out of things to say. Pfft. I can't decide if that's a good or a bad thing. I've been listening to this song for ages, but i just feel like putting it up here now. This is a very churchy jeff buckley number, but for some reason, it really speaks to me. Buckley's voice sounds amazingly haunting in this too. My parents still havent come home from a wedding dinner and i'm beyond bored and lonely. My air-con's making dodgey noises again and i fear it's gonna break down in any minute, there's an odd disquiet surrounding my room and it feels as if i'm some aimless rat. Maybe cos i ran out of words to say after the essay i just pumped out that i have to hand in by tomorrow via email. Oh and, last video i promise. Lian will kill me for putting this up. Nathan and Lian singing the AYG theme song, not the actual video recording from the opening ceremony, heck its not even a video of them singing. Just the song. It's quite funny. But they sound awesome. I need subway. I'm gonna message lian to see if she's free for a subway breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack/brunch/linner/shitimhungry I'll seeyuh when i seeyuh ao , 9:46 AM I'd already know Because i've decided i'm not gonna give a damn about what you think of me or what you think i'm good at, or what you "believe" i can do, because i don't need the nod of your head or the smile of your face to approve my passions, i write, i dance, i sing, i entertain, i (try to) put a smile on your face, but there's always someone better than me. But i don't care, i couldn't give a flying fanny fish about what you think. Sorry Babe, but i think its time you backed the fuck up, you stupid shallow superficial ego-istic low-life turdpool.		the machiavellian ist Vanity isn't a sin, a little narcissm wouldn't hurt. The World would be a much lesser place without corndogs and pizzas. Facebook Andrew. Music. Food. People. What more could you possibly want?		partnersincrime One day when i wake up and find the motive and time to link anybody, i'll let you know. backtoyesterday + Truth is, babe, I love you too. + Sometimes I walk out the door with a smile on my f... + Moments are a lot more real than what you make the... + Only when you can separate the mind from the heart... + Life is becoming a day old chewing gum that's gone... + The world has too much to say sometimes. Every ind... + It's starting to get dark now and the world around... + The heart is thrown into a free fall and the very ... + I've pictured that moment before. About one year a... + Hero. You think you're getting somewhere, slim, bu... wheni'mgone + April 2007 + May 2007 + June 2007 + July 2007 + August 2007 + September 2007 + October 2007 + November 2007 + December 2007 + January 2008 + February 2008 + March 2008 + April 2008 + May 2008 + June 2008 + July 2008 + August 2008 + September 2008 + October 2008 + November 2008 + December 2008 + January 2009 + February 2009 + March 2009 + April 2009 + May 2009 + June 2009 + July 2009 + August 2009 + September 2009 + October 2009 + November 2009 + December 2009 + January 2010 + February 2010 + March 2010 + April 2010 + June 2010 + July 2010 + August 2010 + September 2010 + October 2010 + November 2010 + December 2010 + January 2011 + February 2011 + March 2011 + April 2011 takeabow An accidentality production Inspiration from DancingSheep & BONBON:D		theventingmachine