plugin&play
If you read, you will judge. | ||||||||
My Dear we're slow dancing in a burning room |
Friday, November 12, 2010, 10:57 PM
It's a mad rush but i love that feel. Incredible how powerful your mind can make you feel. I need to learn to make it stop. That hysteria carries on in my head all the way. I've forgotten what it feels like to fall asleep, to feel tired. A few months ago, sleep was the best thing in the world to me, an escape i could drown in for just a couple of hours before i'd have to wake and face the bullshit world again but now it's just another chore. Sleep to wake up to do more work. Vicious tedium. Sometimes i just don't want to fall asleep cos i don't wanna wake up to do more work. I mean what more can i do? Even studying has a limit. The syllabus can only do a lapdance around my head once or twice before it starts to lose its freshness. Like sucking the bleak out of a stubbed out half-bud of a crappy menthol cigarette that's been lying in the gravel for days. I don't feel tired and that scares me. I want to close my eyes and be able to just click shut down without having to go through this whole process of 'falling asleep.' It's putting alot on the line if you think about it. If someone was tired, they'd just fall asleep immediately. But if you're not exactly tired but know you have to sleep you have to go through a process of falling asleep. Closing my eyes and sitting there won't help. Thinking won't help. Getting worried that you can't fall asleep won't help. You need to somehow block out your own thoughts and feel so tired that you eventually dip into a state of calm where you ignore all the little details of your consciousness and eventually just fall asleep. It's a tough process. Worst part is, i think i'm getting more comfortable with the process of sitting for an exam than falling asleep. |
the machiavellian ist
Vanity isn't a sin, a little narcissm wouldn't hurt.Andrew. Music. Food. People. What more could you possibly want? |
partnersincrime
One day when i wake up and find the motive and time to link anybody, i'll let you know. backtoyesterday
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theventingmachine
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